Same-sex marriage as a social movement is more complicated than I thought. Some people still consider it to be a disruption, or even a destruction, of social norms. This is also one school of theory on same sex marriage. As marriage was created and originally practiced by heterosexual people, and has been strictly defined as between one man and one woman throughout history (albeit arguably), incorporating same-sex couples into the institution of marriage poses a challenge to this existing system, transforming it so much so that the act in itself is radical.
However, other schools of theory criticize marriage as a heteronormative institution that subjugates people to the control of the nation state and thus consolidates the idea of the nuclear family. Marriage, to them, is sexist, confining people to monogamous and dyadic relationships. Gay people as a community that was formerly free from marriage should interrogate the legitimacy and applicability of marriage.
Some people are more on the fence on either side, and therefore regard same-sex marriage as an incremental progress and a strategy to integrate gay people into society. By claiming “we are the same as you (heterosexual people),” these people try to win social acceptance and to bring the gay community into the mainstream. They are often criticized as assimilationists for the aforementioned reasons. What’s problematic is that they promote the sameness of the gay communities and cover up the differences, or the dark side, so to speak, to gain favor with the mainstream, i.e. heteronormative society, and in turn further marginalize those who are already marginal and only celebrate those who appeal to the social norm.
I see marriage equality as a human right that everybody deserves, but I am indeed vigilant about the possible implications of mainstreaming and marginalization, as they are happening. Being gay shouldn’t necessarily equate to being respectable or marriage material; or to put it another way, we can’t only recognize gay people’s rights on the basis of their respectability. As the definition of respectability is yet another product of heteronormative society.
